Virtual Reality
I don't get it. If I want to do something, I go and do it. I don't need to play some character in a game that does something or whatever. We're getting fatter and fatter. Hey kids, get off your asses! Go out and have some fun. I am not a role model, nor do I wish to be one, but jeez, come on folks. If I hear one more news story about fat kids that sit and play video games and eat pork rinds and drink soda all day, I'm gonna move to the shack and start up my manifesto again!
Some of these Far-Out-Christian-Types want kids to sit and do nothing, then wonder why they're fat. Shit, let 'em run their asses off after chasin' tail and doin' it like bunnies all day - that's what I did. Yeah, I know, wear a condom boys! Even if she says she's on the pill, how do you know? That and you are having sex with everyone she did in the past seven years. Just think, I might have had sex with her...that should put the fear-o'-god in ya! (I'm mixing metaphors here or something - I'm drunk)
And in my day, we had to work! Damn you are all getting soft. I've been working my fingers to the bone since I was 5 choppin' wood all day for my dad. If I didn't do it I got chased around the farm until he caught me and tanned my scrawny-ass hide...how's a kid get fat that way? Then I snuck out my bedroom window and ran to the pastor's house and banged away at his daughters - when I got older, his wife! I had to stay skinny to get through that window I'll tell you!
Did you know that there are girls that will only have anal sex with you because they want to stay virgins for their wedding night? That's what too much religion does to you - messes with your head! Say your prayers and go to church now and then, but for god's sake don't go overboard! WWJD? He'd have a beer and a steak and drive and SUV into a wall; then he'd walk out of the fireball and laugh his ass off. "You won't kill me this time!" he'd scream. How do I know? That's what I'd do. Then I'd go knock over a Mini-Mart just for the hellofit.
Some of these Far-Out-Christian-Types want kids to sit and do nothing, then wonder why they're fat. Shit, let 'em run their asses off after chasin' tail and doin' it like bunnies all day - that's what I did. Yeah, I know, wear a condom boys! Even if she says she's on the pill, how do you know? That and you are having sex with everyone she did in the past seven years. Just think, I might have had sex with her...that should put the fear-o'-god in ya! (I'm mixing metaphors here or something - I'm drunk)
And in my day, we had to work! Damn you are all getting soft. I've been working my fingers to the bone since I was 5 choppin' wood all day for my dad. If I didn't do it I got chased around the farm until he caught me and tanned my scrawny-ass hide...how's a kid get fat that way? Then I snuck out my bedroom window and ran to the pastor's house and banged away at his daughters - when I got older, his wife! I had to stay skinny to get through that window I'll tell you!
Did you know that there are girls that will only have anal sex with you because they want to stay virgins for their wedding night? That's what too much religion does to you - messes with your head! Say your prayers and go to church now and then, but for god's sake don't go overboard! WWJD? He'd have a beer and a steak and drive and SUV into a wall; then he'd walk out of the fireball and laugh his ass off. "You won't kill me this time!" he'd scream. How do I know? That's what I'd do. Then I'd go knock over a Mini-Mart just for the hellofit.
posted by Slip | 7:19 PM
2 Comments:
Good ta see ya back in circulation Slip. I thought you mighta died up in them there mountains. Well I for one am glad yer not dead. The universe needs you!
Ha ha! Hey there Jade - I've heard about your "extra inch". Glad to see you're still around too. The universe needs you just as much as me. We all play our part. Now go get rope some fillies for me. (send me a pic too)
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